A BIG, BIG BOOZER - Tawandang Brew House – Rama 3

In all of its promo literature, Tawandang German Brewery says it is a place where you can enjoy a variety of entertainment basically unmatched in Bangkok. That was certainly not true when the Brew Pavilion on Ratchadapisek was in full swing, because it featured a very awesome musical show every night of the week, and has not been matched since in my humble opinion.

However to be fair Tawandang operates under the philosophy of "giving our guests great entertainment” not just great music, so on that count it is a very impressive night out for the average punter who has never seen and never will see Las Vegas or the shows of Paris and the like.

Tawandang also has a reputation for providing consistently delicious Thai food served by squadrons of experienced and courteous staff. Well it better, because quite simply, Thais might not complain about the shows, but in a place this vast, you better get the food and the service right because we all know about our food and how long we are willing to wait for it.

But no complaints because the night we were there, it was not packed to its full 1,600 capacity (parking for 600 ‘lots’ or cars), and the service was terrific, for food and for booze.

Tawandang German Brewery was established in September 1999 as the first microbrewery themed restaurant located in the heart of Bangkok on Rama 3 and the entertainment at this vast venue has earned resident musical director Bruce Gaston and his Fong Naam Band a sterling reputation among musicians and punters alike. This farang musical icon brings to his very spacious stage the finest professional talent he can find and that includes musicians, singers, dancers, and performers.

The unfashionably long-haired Gaston is actually regarded almost as a hero in local terms as he has pioneered bringing Thai classical music ‘back’ by orchestrating musical arrangements which neatly combine the almost ‘traditional’ Thai music with contemporary Western-style music.

He says his brand of “Musical Theatre" is aimed at delivering a premier Broadway-style dinner theatre and includes “timeless Thai classic and contemporary masterpieces” and throws in soundtrack theme songs from television soaps and movies, as well as Thai country and folk songs and dance adaptations of Thai classics.

It is fair to say that Gaston has his finger on the pulse of Thai taste so to speak and they love the showy, over-the-top, often glitzy staging and luridly-costumed performances, usually with some corny Thai theme or linked to a musical or movie - Thai or international - from days gone by.

I call this showbiz obsession with the recent past the ‘Elvis Lives Syndrome’, but thankfully Bruce has avoided the ultimate showbiz revival cliché that has really been done to death on these smiling shores, making us all wish Elvis had been a little more careful with his burgers and amphetamines!

But don’t get me wrong – Broadway this ain’t! However, from 9 pm on it is a continuous revue of hits and theme songs featuring set piece costumed dance routines with duos or solo singers pumping out ballads and dance favorites, and even a bit of hip hop for the younger crowd.

There are Luk Thung songs and Poor Chiwit or Thai folk songs all performed to a very high standard, and the variety of the offerings keeps the show moving and entertaining. And it has to be said – very musical.

The dancers and singers are pretty gorgeous and the seamless performances keep the crowd singing along and even dancing at their tables.

There was a crowd of about 900 punters in the night we were there and that was a Tuesday night! It is perfect for birthdays or office parties and in the main auditorium there are tables with as many as 36 seats for bigger parties.

And despite the fact that this entire venue is entirely kitted out in timber, you can smoke.

As usual My Girl managed to shock the shit out of me with her taste in aperitifs. I came back from the loo to find her enjoying what looked like a glass of Kermit after a minute in the blender. Silly me! It was of course a ‘Green Snow’ cocktail – the cocktail of the month – so I hope we missed the Yellow Snow, if there is such a thing in a glass!

I had ordered a cold beer and that’s when it got interesting again.

I am assured by people hired to assure me that in the state-of-the-art microbrewery, the best ingredients such as pure water, grain, malt, hops and yeast are used and the beer is brewed in the ‘traditional’ style. Tawandang's own brewmeister creates the finest draft beers which adhere strictly to German purity guidelines and laws. So there! Three kinds of draft beer - weizen beer, lager beer, and dunken beer- are brewed and their qualities, aroma and flavor are all carefully controlled by the highly-trained and experienced brewmeister all the way from Germany itself.

I was not able to meet him, (he was probably at home sleeping it off!), but I did learn from the nice PR lady that Tawandang’s brewery is the largest microbrewery in the country with a capacity of 700,000 liters per year.

And my typically golden giant one liter lager was very tasty as was my follow-up liter of weizen. But I passed on the dunken or dunkel jobby but My Girl obliged. And very good they all were.

One third of a liter of any of the biers costs you 70 baht and a five-litre pitcher-cum-beer-tower will set you back 1000 baht. One liter is 200 baht so you don’t really save buying in bulk!

The menu we were offered featured a wide variety of Thai favourites and of course the German bier garden staples. So we plumped for the Deep Fried Pork Knuckle and the Deep Fried Salted Home Grown Chicken. To this we added Steamed Squid, Deep Fried Prawns with Garlic and Spicy Deep Fried Morning Glory. Oh and some Moo Manao.

The food was fine and served very quickly, so a word of caution. This is a party venue and you are here to enjoy a night out with maybe 1599 other punters. So you can expect the quality of the food to be a little production line-tarnished. It’s all very edible but no Michelin prizes, and you do get your money’s worth. That lot I ordered for four plus the beer cost us about 4000 baht, so you are paying for the entertainment believe me!

I also discovered Tawandang was apparently designed to look like the interior of a "beer barrel" with its domed architectural design and the arched ceiling providing a simple but sophisticated appeal, with the shining state-of-the-art copper microbrewery as a centerpiece.

It’s just the biggest beer hall in town, however you look at, but it is difficult not to use ‘spectacular’ in any description if you consider the tiny-by-comparison dimensions of our normal, humble locals!

Since it opened six years ago, the facilities have expanded to seat up to 1,600 diners and they also added a beautiful outdoor terrace and the Tawandang gift shop, offering gifts, memorabilia and questionable collectibles.

This is really the perfect party hall and is well worth a visit even just a for an interesting beer at the bar. And as far as we are concerned, a good time was had by all…including the various owners…because it must be one of the city’s top earners!